Cruel for the Summer

Hockey season is over. It’s so weird, it’s like the last day of school: you’re so pumped for Summer and taking a break, but bummed about not being with your friends again until September.

So, wot’s Little Miss Jenna up to over vacay? I think, this year, I’m gonna forgo the partying, beach scene, and canoe races at Summer Camp... Y’know, the good one, not the one across the lake, where the kids get picked off by a machete-wielding psycho while boning in the woods at 2am… I mean, you’ve seen what happens to girls like me at places like Camp Blood; one innocent little trip to the shower stall and suddenly I’m hurdling raccoons, dodging Poison Sumac, and trying to outrun Claus Von Bulow while the moon glows down through the trees onto my tanned and sudsy nubile young body…

No, I’m spending this Summer locked away in my bedroom. Less raccoons, no toxic shrubs… Although, there’s still a pretty good chance of finding a boy in a hockey mask.

To me, Summer has always signified freedom, fun, and unlimited potential. So, I’ve decided to harness those energies and use them to create something insane.

I’ve got a bedroom full of toys, a garage full of power tools, a filthy snipe, and Amazon just delivered a neoprene bikini and new bag of pucks. So, let’s see what sort of trouble I can get into…